First Kill All The Adverbs

This article is just focusing on using words that end in –ly.  Slowly, Steadily, Silently, Hardly, and the like.  We’re not going to concern ourselves in this article about flat verbs or adverbs.  We’re going to try and convey the idea that using these words with the suffix –ly is a lazy way to write. Here’s an example.

Example 1: The bad way.

“The train slowly came to a halt.”

Example 2: A better way.

“The train screeched and moaned a deafening sound, passing us by until the dark behemoth came to a silent halt.”

Remember the golden rule of writing...SHOW don’t TELL.  Telling is example one.  It’s flat and boring.  You need to engage the senses so your reader can live the part as if they were there.  Here’s a more detailed example of what I mean.

Plot:

A terrorist group is planning on using the express train to deliver a dispersible neurotoxin across the city.

Now remember the train is important as it is a main feature throughout the rest of the story.  So you’ll need to give the reader an idea of what the thing looks like but you can’t just go and describe the thing.  Just plainly describing what’s around the character is called static description (not moving).  You’ll need to use active description so it doesn’t slow down the story.

Example 1: The bad way.

“The train slowly came to a halt.  It was big and black with a red stripe along the side.  It chuffed smoke and was very hot.”

Example 2: Engaging the senses.

“Around the corner came the express train to Paris, it screeched and moaned a deafening sound as steel scraped against steel, wheel against track.  A burst of smoke shot into air assaulting my culinary senses.  It was a disgusting thing yet had such strange beauty.  I couldn’t imagine why or even how they kept this polluting behemoth running but at this point I was past caring.”

In example 2 we’ve modified it enough to give the reader a feel of the train and the character.  

If a certain scene doesn’t hold your attention then rewrite it.